musings of a ragamuffin

jenisicecreams:

Hello, Chicago.

Follow along at @jenisCHI or on Facebook.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea of #2Dto3D lately, and how to use social media to make us more social, and not disconnected. It started with the #2Dto3D Project, basically going through and identifying people that live in my community that I’ve not met that follow me on Twitter and asking them to lunch or coffee. I mean, you either really want to know these folks, or you don’t. If you don’t, why would you let them into your world through Twitter. We share an awful lot of personal stuff on there. I want to know the people who I’m inviting into my world, and it’s easy to meet them over a cup of coffee and get to know them. 

One more element of this, something I’ve wanted to do for some time is regarding Facebook. I’m up to 1210 friends, and honestly, I wish it was much less. I’ve worked over the past year to make my social media channels a lot easier to manager, especially as I’ve taken on new pages/groups/accounts. I go through my Twitter every day to see who followed me, weeding out the spam and folks who aren’t following me for legitimate reasons. With my Facebook, I do a similar thing, unfriending folks if they don’t add value to my life in a positive way, or if we’re just not going to really be friends outside of it. Again, I don’t want stalkers, I want participants of the journey. I don’t wanna just be your Facebook friend.

So, every time someone comments to me on the number of friends I have on Facebook, I respond the same way, these are my friends, these are people I really am connected with. And then I start reading off names, and what they add to my life. And I’ve thought it would be good to write a blogpost doing just that, but I’ve never had the time. But I’m going to carve out the time to do it this week. If we’re friends on Facebook, you’ll see your name, and the value you add to my life. I’m not sure how long this will take, but I think it’s important enough to do it. So, look for it by at least the beginning of next week. 

There are times when words are far from me, where it’s impossible to wrestle them up long enough to put them to written form. Then, there are times like now, where the words are spilling out faster than I can write them. This has been a really rough week for me, honestly. There was joyous news, and there was heartbreaking news, the perfect picture of life, I suppose. And as much as I want to embrace the good, embrace the joy of the best of what I heard, I can’t, for the life of me, get past the worst of the news I heard all week. And today hit a breaking point for me. 

A very good friend of mine, who I’ve known for a long time, and who I’ve always respected, both her and her family, has a sister who’s been valiantly fighting Breast Cancer. She’s been in treatment now for almost three years, and I didn’t know that it had gotten worse, but heard that last week she was hospitalized and has been there since. I received a text message tonight, just before my class, that the doctors were only giving her a few days to live. And my heart sank, tears welling up in my eyes, people coming into the Ponce City Dancing Goats for the class. And somehow I pulled together myself enough to teach a very successful class.

But as soon as I got in the car, it hit me again. I know the pain, I was at my Dad’s bedside at the end of his life, holding his hand, seeing him gasp for breath through lungs that were no longer working. I remember well the confusion, the anger, the sadness, the questions, the lack of words. I remember having to speak to my Dad, knowing I knew absolutely nothing I could say to someone who was at the end of their life except “I love you.” I feel my friends families pain, at the core of my heart I do. 

And just earlier tonight I had a great conversation with Jen Hidinger, whose husband Ryan is battling Stage IV Gallbladder Cancer. We were talking about an event I have coming up, and I was asking if there were other ways I could help as the couple move forward with their dream of opening their own restaurant “Staplehouse”, which is what they were doing just before receiving the cancer diagnosis. Ever since I heard of Ryan’s story, I’ve been gripped by it, wanting to help, for the sole reason that besides being an incredibly nice guy, this could happen to any one of us, and if it happened to me or my wife, I know folks would do the same for me. Ryan is fighting strong, and I absolutely want to do what I can to see their dream of “Staplehouse” become a reality. 

I cannot fathom words to express how my heart feels for those fighting this fight of cancer. It is a vicious beast, and it does not pick and choose. In moments like this I can only focus on what I can do. I can work as hard as I can to support those who are going through this battle. I can work as hard as I can to be a better friend, a better neighbor. And I can work as hard as I can to really know what’s going on in the life of those around me, and not just what I see on Facebook. This is why the #2Dto3D project is so important. This is why community is so important. So many of us are fighting huge battles, climbing giant mountains, and working to overcome major obstacles. Hug more. Love more. Give more. Be more.

I’ve wanted to text message my friend back, but I don’t have words, honestly. The only two words I can think of are “I’m sorry.” But for some reason, those don’t seem comfort enough. Cherish the moments you have with your loved ones. Cherish the time you spend with your friends. I know that’s my plan. Tonight, I’m thinking of you Ang. 

There are moments in your life where the way ahead is very visible, where the road is clearly defined, and the exits clearly marked. There are also moments in your life where the fog has rolled in, where your headlights don’t pierce, where your sense of direction is failing you, and where you cannot make out the road ahead. Where all that you can do is hold the wheel with both hands, keep a steady speed, and pray the fog lifts. I know those moments. 

I’ve been in many of those moments in my life, and I’ve pushed through all of them. I have swam with the dolphins, and bobbed at the surface for air. And one thing has always been true, and that’s that I’ve always had great friends, not acquaintances, but real friends to help me through. Donnie Nunn helped me navigate my youth years. Mark Linton helped me graduate high school, which helped me get into college. Shea Fite and Blake Hodge helped me through college. And those same folks have continued to help me as an adult, even to this day.

We are all sojourners on a journey, we’re all wanderers who may or may not be lost, we’re all here for a reason, for a purpose and for the greater good. It may be hard for you to believe that, to understand that, to accept that, even when life is a fog, and trust me I get it, but again, I do know this, there are people who are counting on you to push through, and there are people who are walking alongside you to help you not only succeed, but excel. Wrap yourself around community, around a group of folks who you look up to, respect and appreciate. Allow it to get messy, because life is messy. Show and share grace.

This morning I had breakfast with three people I genuinely love and respect, people I admire for the amazing things they’ve done and are doing, and people I trust. These are people that are helping me through my own foggy moment, and I was reminded this morning of how much value there was in it. Seriously, we were not meant to journey alone, we were made to walk it alongside each other, to carry when the need is there, and to allow ourselves to be carried when we can’t walk ourselves.

That is community. That is why community is special. That is why community is important. 

Less than one week ago I was in Boston, attending the Specialty Coffee Association of America’s annual Event. I’d never been to Boston before, so while I was there, I was taking it all in, from the old buildings with their ornate roofs, to the water with rowers rowing, to the lobster roll joints and breweries. Overall, I had a great time in Boston. On Sunday, on my way back to the Boston Convention Center from Brookline, where I was staying, my cab driver asked if I wanted to ride by where the Boston Marathon finish line was going to be. I said, “Yes!” I knew I was flying out Sunday afternoon, and wouldn’t be back that way. 

And that’s just what I saw. The area where two improvised pressure cooker bombs would go off, killing several people and injuring countless others. And I was shocked, I mean, I had many friends who were still in Boston, friends who were scheduled to leave on Monday after the show was finished. I had friends who stayed to watch the race, who surely would be as close to the finish line as they could be. And then I started seeing my friends posting that they were ok, and asking about our other friends. And that’s not to mention my friends who live there, like Molly and Ryan Soeder of Counter Culture and Slayer. 

After hearing all of my friends were okay, I, like many others, just wanted to see justice served to these killers. And then, it started playing out in the media (who botched stories one after the other, giving out misinformation and unconfirmed reports left and right), and then of course, social media. And of course, that’s where things go haywire. Lots of bogus accounts were started for the killer, both Twitter and Facebook accounts, and some insane people actually hindered the police as they searched for this with misinformation.

Myself, I hopped onto a scanner app and listened as they searched for the killer. I even posted some of the stuff up, thinking it was a great thing communicating to others, as we were all waiting to see this come to an end. Then came the criticism to people like myself and others for posting things on Twitter that we were hearing on scanners. I’d never really thought about it in a negative way, but could see it both ways, not that the killer was following me on Twitter and would read what I wrote. I can’t think of an event in history that’s happened in such real-time via social media and hearing the info as it happened on scanners. Then I realized, with this real-time event meeting real-time social media, there’s an even greater responsibility to be smart with what I and we post on our social media networks. I know that I, for one, learned a lesson. 

And I think it’s important to remember that hope does spring eternal, and love will always prevail. Spend more time with your family and loved ones. Hug more of your friends. Be more graceful to others, show forgiveness more easily, and remember that community is something that brings us together, not tears us apart. There is evil all around the world, and extremists do not often mirror the beliefs or ideals of the rest of the country or religion. Let us quit being so judgmental and operate in love. Lastly, let us pray for the victims of this horrible tragedy and their families. Let us pray for the city of Boston, that they might find peace and comfort in the midst of all this sadness, confusion and shock. 

(This picture’s from the first Coffee Ambush at Scoutmob. June, 2011.)

Delta Airlines HQ- Atlanta.

Scoutmob- Atlanta.

Mailchimp- Atlanta.

CBS Atlanta- Atlanta.

CNN Newsroom- Atlanta.

Adult Swim-Atlanta.

Cartoon Network-Atlanta.

Engauge- Atlanta.

Oracle/Vitrue- Atlanta.

National Geographic- Washington, DC.

Punch Brothers-(Band) in  Atlanta.

Blood:Water Mission- Nashville.

Jars of Clay- (Band) in Nashville.

PopCap Games- Seattle.

NEMO- Portland.

The Fox Theatre- Atlanta.

Jeni’s Ice Creams- Columbus, OH.

How Stuff Works- Atlanta.

Vi Marketing and Branding- Oklahoma City.

Fox 23 TV- Tulsa.

Innovation Depot- Birmingham.

Atlanta Ballet- Atlanta.

Blue Sky Agency- Atlanta.

Fifth Group Restaurants- Atlanta.

Creative Loafing Atlanta- Atlanta.

Ticket Alternative- Atlanta.

TCM/TBS- Atlanta.

Coca-Cola- Atlanta.

Triplingo- Atlanta.

Hypepotamus- Atlanta.

Boys & Girls Clubs HQ- Atlanta.

Atlanta Community Food Bank- Atlanta.

Strongbox West- Atlanta.

Pardot- Atlanta.

Savannah College of Art & Design- Atlanta.

Vertmob- Atlanta.

489 Edgewood- Atlanta.

What’s Up Interactive- Atlanta.

American 3B Scientific- Atlanta.

Flashpoint at Georgia Tech- Atlanta.

Intel- Dupont, WA.

(The picture below is from the last Coffee Ambush we did at Delta Airlines HQ.)

You Don’t Know The Real Me.

I read a very good article lately in Relevant Magazine called, “Instagram’s Envy Effect”, which talked about how if you only judged her life based on what you put out on Instagram, it would look much better than what real life as a whole would be. And I have to agree, it’s often hard sometimes when I hear people say, “You have the perfect job.” “You’ve got it made.” “You are living the dream.” On and on. Because, what I post out is not a complete picture of what’s going on in my life at any point. My job is a lot of work, it’s balancing lots of things at one time, and it has it’s own challenges just like everybody’s work, and just because I’m not complaining about it via social media doesn’t mean it’s not existent. We all have things about our life, our jobs, our families, our churches that we’re not happy with. Things that we wish that we could change.

Those are consequently things that we can’t and don’t post about on social media. Why? Because it’s not the place for it, and because we’re connected via social media to so many of those same people. Also, it’s not proper for you to share about what’s going on negatively in your family, your work, or even your church. Something else, who are some of the people you hate reading stuff from on a daily basis? I know one group I can’t stand reading stuff from, and that’s the “Whiners” group. Those are the people who just whine about everything, from the weather, to what’s on TV, to their jobs, on and on. So, many people don’t complain or share about things that are negative, or things that they’re hating at the moment.

Also, many people are going through major things, tough mountains to climb, and serious life challenges, and they either don’t want to burden others, are embarrassed, feel guilty or feel shameful, or they just don’t know how to communicate. Those people aren’t posting out what’s going on with these things generally through social media, either. They are dealing with it, or trying to deal with it within, and even if their Instagram pictures looks like life is good, even if their Facebook statuses make it sound like everything is okay, they are definitely not, but you would never know it if you only lived in community with them via social media. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it, social media isn’t the room where stuff happens, it’s the foyer into the room. It’s the place that allows you entry into the room, the place where real community happens. Never mistake your social media interactions for real community, because it’s just not so.

Real community and depth in friendships only takes place face to face, voice to voice. When you have solid friendships with folks, you and they are more open to speak more openly about what’s REALLY going on in their lives, their families, their jobs and their homes. And it’s one more reason why I think Project #2Dto3D is so important, because our communities need more depth in relationship. Everyone around us is fighting a battle of some sort, we’re all scaling different mountains, dreaming different dreams, and we all need each other along the way. And the relationships we have that are solely based in the social media world, without true face-time and conversations, are simply hollow and void. Those relationships will not help us, because those people have no context to speak into our lives, offer advice, and we have no context to do the same. Also, we simply cannot communicate properly via the keys on a keyboard. The inflection of one’s voice, the sincerity in their face, and the genuineness of their heart happens when two people sit across from one another and share their story. Project #2Dto3D is all about that.

I am not what you think, my life is not what it seems. It is similar, it is flavored with those Instagram pictures, Facebook statuses or Twitter updates, but what you see via social media isn’t the complete me. It’s just a small part. I am not posting every meal I eat, every place I go, every thing I do, or am going through. To get to know the real me, we’ll need trust and a real relationship. We’ll need context for each other’s lives. I can assure you I spend a great amount of my life peeling away the layers of facade I’ve built, using social media. I’ve been open and honest, and transparent about a lot of things, most recently my weight loss. I posted a picture this morning I hadn’t posted until this morning, because I felt I couldn’t, so I just did it. I hope you’re using social media to be more real, and using it to connect on a deeper level for all the reasons I’ve given. I hope you take Project #2Dto3D seriously, it really is important for community. 

Baristas, it’s your mission to take good care of something that has been coddled every step of the way up to you. It’s a lot of pressure, I know, but I think you can do it. Focus on not what you think is the best for you, but what is best for the coffee. Instead of focusing on the coolest new gadget on the market to brew with, focus on the basics of brewing and extraction and figure out the best way to achieve that goal. The coffee wants to speak, and you give it that voice. Brew like you truly care about all the work that’s gone into it matters, because it does.

ondoers:

In this episode we talk to Jonathan Baker of Monday Night Brewing, a craft brewery he and two friends started out of a garage. These guys are doing what every home brewer dreams of - they’ve built a cult following and recently opened a 20,000 square foot brewery and tasting room on the Westside of Atlanta.

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As many of you know, i started the #2Dto3D initiative a few weeks ago through a blogpost and Twitter postings. The goal of the #2Dto3D initiative is very simple, it’s meant to take as many of your 2D social media relationships into 3D, or “in real life.” This in turn builds stronger community as it develops greater relationships in your community, which enhances it and makes for a better quality of life. The more of these 2D relationships you take to 3D, the more people you have inspiring you, encouraging you and supporting you in what it is you are working towards, too. 

So, how does it work? Well, it’s very simple. Look over your Twitter or Facebook followers/friends list and identify folks on there that live in the same town or city as you, and you’ve never met in real life and invite them out to coffee, lunch or a beer. Ask them to share with you their story, and share yours. Llsten. It’s that simple. Personally, I’ve had lots of these #2Dto3D interactions, and they’ve been remarkably positive and valuable. My life has genuinely been enriched by this, and my community has been strengthened. I like to say it makes your city become smaller and your community become bigger. Pretty soon it becomes hard to go places where you don’t run into friends. 

It’s time to make social “social” again, to utilize social media to engage people in a real way and to develop solid friendships. What you will find is that many people on your Twitter and Facebook list are your neighbors, your spouse’s coworkers, your kids baseball coaches, your baristas, friends of friends. You will find lots of commonalities and lots of shared interests. Who knows? You may make a love connection. Either way, it’s a great way to meet new people and hear their stories. Be inspired by the cool things they’re doing. Connect. 

So, to help get this initiative started, I’ve created the Project #2Dto3D Facebook Page, and The #2Dto3D Challenge. The Challenge is this: 

“Simply engage in a real #2Dto3D experience, where you meet someone on your Twitter or Facebook followers/friends list that you’ve NEVER met in person, ask them out for coffee, lunch or a beer, and share with us your story about it, including a picture from the meeting. We’ll pick a winner from the stories, and the story with the most Likes will win. We’ll also have second and third place prizes, and prizes are going to be great, including local art, coffee, dinners, etc. Post your story on the Project #2Dto3D timeline, and tell all your friends to participate and vote for you! 

Contest ends May 31st. and winners will be announced June 2nd! All stories must include a photo from the meeting. Cheaters will be found out and fed to the sharks. This is meant to encourage building community. Remember to meet in public places, and be safe.”

I look forward to reading your stories of how you use this to engage and build community! It’s time to take #2Dto3D!

It should be known that April and I both have a huge heart for the homeless. April volunteers for the Atlanta Community Food Bank in her time, and I would, too, if I had the time. The Bean’ry, the second shop I opened in Athens, GA, took regular clothing donations and food donations, that went to local food banks and homeless shelters. One Thanksgiving we fed 200 homeless folks around Athens. Homelessness is a very complex issue, and one that I wish we were all doing more to remedy. So, when I first saw someone post about the “suspended coffee” program, with the picture of a homeless man sitting sipping on a cup of coffee, of course it gathered my attention. 

If you don’t know about it, (and I checked Snopes.com to make sure the story was accurate), the idea of the “suspended coffee” started in Naples, Italy, moved to Bulgaria, and now, throughout the world, and revolves around the idea that folks can pay for coffee/drinks in advance for folks who can’t afford it. This idea is very similar to the “Pay It Forward” trend that has happened with independent coffee shops, as well as Starbucks customers in the past. We live in a society that does, every once in a while, renew your hope that people are good.

So, what do I think of the “suspended coffee” idea? 

1. Doing something nice for someone less fortunate can never be innately a bad thing, but there are always better things that you can do. It is great that there is hot coffee for those less fortunate, especially when it’s colder, and their city is covered in snow and ice. But perhaps a better idea would be a to send them to homeless shelters, local food banks and churches that provide more than just a hot coffee, but a meal and a shower, maybe even a bed. 

What else? Carry gift cards for your favorite local coffee shop. A $5 gift card from an independent coffee shop could pay for a hot coffee and a bakery item. Gift cards are a great way to pass along a nice gesture, for sure. 

2. Most folks who you’d want to benefit from this program have very little way of knowing about this program, as they’re not on social media. They’re not on Facebook or Twitter. Are we to assume they’re to go into every coffee shop and ask for this program? And what are the added challenges that this adds to a barista’s already busy workload? What challenges does this add to how this becomes manageable? 

3. You have no way to police who gets a free coffee and who doesn’t, because you can’t put yourself in a position of judging others or their financial situation. Judging based on looks, smells, or clothing? Out, you can’t do it. So, you’re only choice would be to honor any request from anyone asking for the free coffee. Which absolutely would be abused, and not benefit the very people you’re wanting it to benefit. Times are hard for all, and your idea of needy, your customers idea of needy, and the person who takes advantage of the program will all have different ideas of what “needy” is.

This is why I believe gift cards are a better proposition, and handing them out to folks in your community you know are homeless or distributing them to homeless shelters. 

4. Here’s an option, and something I’ve done: deliver fresh brewed coffee to homeless shelters or soup kitchens. We recently did a Coffee Ambush at the Atlanta Community Food Bank. Ideally we want to get homeless folks to these service centers, where they can get all the help they need, not just cups of coffee. Let’s do things to support these organizations that are already working so hard in your city to support the less fortunate. Encourage your patrons to buy gift cards to donate to local shelters or soup kitchens to distribute out. 

So, that’s my initial thoughts on the program, something that I’ve just started hearing about in the past couple of days. As time goes on, I’ll continue to think on this, and ponder ways to be as effective with the sentiment as possible for April and I, and I encourage you to do the same. Please DO get out and do as much as you can for those less fortunate, there are more people than ever in real need, and those numbers grow everyday. Please DO donate your time to your local food bank, soup kitchen or church helping with the issue of homelessness. Please DO take time to consider all around you who are less fortunate and find real, tangible and efficient ways you can help make a difference in your community. Whatever you do, do something. 

This is the day that Christians all over the world, including followers of Christ like April and I, celebrate the stone being rolled away to see that Jesus, who was buried in the tomb, was not there. It is said that He arose to Heaven with God the Father, and I believe it with all my heart. I’m not very vocal about my faith, because it’s an incredibly personal thing to me, something that’s truly changed my life for the better in more ways than I could tell you in one lunch. But this day, I celebrate that Jesus did leave the tomb. That His teachings and values are slowly becoming mine, and that it is making me a person that I’m more proud of being each year. Happy Easter everyone. 

I recently spent a few days in Cincinnati with a bunch of guys talking about how social media can be used to create more “third places”, which is defined on Wikipedia as “a term used in the concept of community building to refer to social surroundings separate from the two usual social environments of home and the workplace. In his influential book The Great Good Place, Ray Oldenburg (1989, 1991) argues that third places are important for civil society, democracy, civic engagement, and establishing feelings of a sense of place.

Oldenburg calls one’s “first place” the home and those that one lives with. The “second place” is the workplace — where people may actually spend most of their time. “Third places”, then, are “anchors” of community life and facilitate and foster broader, more creative interaction. All societies already have informal meeting places; what is new in modern times is the intentionality of seeking them out as vital to current societal needs.”

As someone who got into coffee originally not because I was passionate, or even “liked” for that matter, coffee, someone who got into it to build community or this idea of “third place,” I am incredibly passionate about this. The first coffee shop I started was in Augusta, Georgia, created to build community and provide a third place for students at a commuter college. It started out with a small following, then grew bigger and bigger, eventually becoming a chartered student organization and very well-attended each week. It was so popular and well-known around the area that I was asked to move to Athens and open a shop there. 

The second coffee shop I opened, in downtown Athens, was created as a community center, and yes, it was sponsored by Chi Alpha, which is a college ministry, but it was very intentional in it’s purpose of being a true community center. Clothing and canned goods were taken up for the local homeless community, as was a Thanksgiving dinner that that fed close to 200 people. It was a true place where folks really built depth in relationships, and folks really connected on lots of levels. College students played board game with folks who lived under bridges down the road or in shelters. When I was there, it wasn’t a specific evangelistic thing, it was solely a place to serve others. 

It featured coffee from popular Athens roaster Jittery Joes, and we had full espresso training to make sure the barista team was producing the highest quality espresso drinks. We had a large 2500 sq. ft. space in the back for a concert hall, complete with a large vaulted ceiling, brick walls, and church pews for seating, as well as couches. We hosted bands like Of Montreal, Vigilantes of Love, Rock and Roll Summer and lots of other bands from around the country. It was a true community center, a true “third place” if you will. 

Over the past five years, I’ve noticed a specific shift away from the “third place” and into some sort of shared office space. When I visit shared workspaces like Strongbox West here in Atlanta, it looks very similar to what you’d see at a local coffee shop, lots of folks buried face-deep in their laptops and sporting white earbuds, totally disconnected from all else happening around them, and in their own worlds. The coffee shop is no longer a “third place” like the coffee shop portrayed in the hit show “FRIENDS”, it’s literally a lot of folks office space, for the small rent of as little as $2.00 a day (and some who don’t buy anything, but get cups of water.) Someone said to me last week that Starbucks isn’t a coffee shop to them, it’s their office. I’ve seen people actually set up their iMacs on the table with an extension cord. Yep. 

And it’s incredibly sad, because the coffee shop is very rarely a place where community is built, where folks get to know each other deeper, where the sense of community is promoted over things. Sure, there are exceptions, but they are few and far between. Most folks list “free wi-fi” as a standard all coffee shops should have, as well as lots of outlets. And if you don’t, prepare to get the wrath of wreckless Yelpers and other folks who believe you should run your business to the model they think it should be. I can think of two coffee shops that have opened in Atlanta in the last year that have only a couple of usable outlets for customers, meant to discourage the use of the shop as an office. 

My friend Tamara Murro recently opened up her second New Orleans shop, Velvet Central, and explicitly warns customers that “Velvet has never had wifi and Velvet Central will not either. In fact there is no public outlets. No laptops allowed between 11 and 2pm. The slow bar counter where you order your food and drink will be a no-cellphone zone.” She, like several around the country, are working hard to become that “third place” even if it means offending some folks here and there. She sees the value that it adds to her community and she sees the value that community adds to her city. And I agree completely. There is just such an amazing value in creating “third place” coffee shops in communities, where folks can gather and connect, where the community is strengthened and where people just talk. 

16 years later I’m still passionate about community, about connecting, about engaging and making my own city smaller and my community bigger. That’s the reason I started the #2Dto3D campaign. The past two days I’ve met folks that follow me on Twitter that I’d not met in person before and it’s been an amazing experience just hearing their story, and sharing mine. In hearing what they’re passionate about and about sharing mine, and that’s what makes “third places” so incredibly valuable. Whether it’s Handsome Coffee in LA, Sidewalk in Baltimore, Caffe d’Bolla in Salt Lake City or Velvet Central in New Orleans, I hope this is a trend that carries on. 

I think that our nakedness is truly the great equalizer. Naked? Think about it, no matter who we are, no matter who we think we are, when every single one of us takes off our clothes, our cares, our facades, we’re left with our skin, naked. We’re all the same. We live in a society that places great emphasis on creating segments, castes and classes. We build and develop our identities based on those things, not truly based on who we are as people, but the people we put ourselves around, by the people who were think of as “standards”, whatever that means. When the reality is, at the end of the day, we all put our clothes on the same way. We’re all naked under the thin veil of our undergarments. Just like it was in the Garden of Eden.

It’s simple to think to yourself, “I’m not as good as so and so.” It’s rather easy to say to yourself, “That’s not for folks like me.” “I can’t be that successful.” “I won’t ever live that way.” Listen, and hear me out, there is nothing that separates you from those people you speak of except the will, hard work, and persistence. That’s it. I love this line from the Macklemore/Ryan Lewis song “Ten Thousand Hours”, “The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint, the greats were great because they painted a lot.” One of the things my Mom instilled in me from the time I was old enough was that I could be anything I wanted to be. And the sad thing is that I feel I’m just now actually believing it. Isn’t that sad? I have every single thing I need to be whatever it is I want to be. The only person that can take that away is myself. 

I had a conversation with a friend tonight, who isn’t where they thought they’d be in life at the age they’re at. They’re not “normal” in comparison to others around them, to what the world has laid out as some sort of “standard.” And I told them, it’s rubbish. There is no standard, there is no normal, there are new “rules” to how life is supposed to go down for each one of us, there’s only us. Because again, we’re all the same, completely different yet completely the same. We all breath air, we all need oxygen, we all pay taxes, and again, at the end of the day, we’re all naked under everything we load on top of our skin. That same nakedness gives us our individuality, it gives us our true identity, the person we are when no one else is around, and that’s what normal is. 

When someone says to me, it’s normal to be 35 and married and with kids, I tell them, “I’m 38, married and have no kids. And I’m normal.” And I have friends that are 35, not married and they have no friends. And that’s normal. And I have friends that are gay, who have been together for 12 years, committed (but still can’t get married) and they’re normal. There is no set determination for what “normal” is for all people, there is “normal” for each one of us. Because as much as we’re different, we’re all still the same. There aren’t standards to how life is supposed to be lived, there’s not a game plan that’s to be followed by all, with a timeline already laid out. There is just us, and each of our journeys. Never let someone tell you you’re not normal if you don’t meet the criteria of normal they place on you. 

Nakedness. I think back at the story of Adam and Eve, and of their nakedness, and how one thing that isn’t taken away from that story is that in their nakedness, they had equality, and transparency, something this culture definitely hasn’t valued, yet should. I think of how in their nakedness there was this real concept of equality, that both were in the same boat, in the same skin, and both had the same potential. Both had the exact same chance for a productive future, both had the same ability to think for themselves and act on it. And that Adam did. And the rest is history. 

It is of extreme value to remember that we are more alike in this world than we are different. Think about it, no matter our skin color, ethnicity, religion or sexual preference, we all sleep at night horizontally; we all need water and oxygen to live; we all live in cities, towns and villages; we all have mothers and fathers of some kind; we’re all born, and we all die; we all crave love; we all crave community; we all have brains; we all have hearts; we all grow by learning; we all crave acceptance; we all wonder why; we all feel pain; we all need stimulation of some sort; we all have different ideas of what “normal” is; and we all want more out of life. And again, we all have the abilities to be whoever we want to be if we’re willing to work hard and be patient and persistent. 

The next time you’re naked, think about the fact that all over the world, people are the exact same under the clothing they layer upon their skin. And that sameness should be a reminder that you have the exact same potential as they do for success, for love, for hope, for grace. You are not any less valuable to God or to anyone else. You are an amazing human, part of an amazing story, made for amazing things.

Yes. This. #iheartcalvinandhobbes

(Source: Laughing Squid, via laughingsquid)